I'm currently in Asia with my girlfriend that I have often talked about in this blog. I've been here for about a month and a half. It took us about a month to adjust to being into a close distance relationship as opposed to our long distance relationship in which we used webcam chat to keep in touch. I think we were both too used to having our freedom that it took us a while to adjust to being in close proximity with each other. There was also culture differences that we had to adapt to. I am handicapped here because I am not familiar with the area and I am not fluent in speaking or reading the native language. I have to greatly depend on my girlfriend to help me out which has taken a toll on her as well. She has school and her own life to deal with and now she has me on top of her responsibilities.
During the first month we had huge fights every two weeks. She acted immaturely and childishly when I tried to calmly talk to her to figure out the situation to fix it. There was one week when I couldn't take her bratty behavior and wanted to break up with her which further upset her. At that time I felt as if I reached my limit of dealing with her immaturity. Upon further research, I realized that how she acted was normal in her culture. The females in her culture act around 10 years younger than their current again. They can act cute and sweet in public, but transform to a raging monster in private. It's kind of scary. I guess that means I should man up some more huh? Ha. She's not always an angry person in private. We do enjoy ourselves. Soberly, too, which is pretty awesome. We feel like kids again.
One morning I woke up with a skin disease which resulted from stress, frustration, and anxiety (verified from a doctor and feeling better now after taking meds). I'm pretty sure that the gf partially caused it. I had a friend tell me that every time my girlfriend call me I looked very anxious. That was because I was afraid I might say something wrong and make her mad. All the stupid fights and blame on me definitely contributed to the skin disease..
I've sought counsel from close friends. Some of them tell me that I don't deserve to put up with the stuff my girlfriend puts me through. My side of this is that it was difficult enough for me to even get into a relationship especially with my "nice guy" label. Part of me feels like having this opportunity to be in a relationship is one of those very rare opportunities in life. It begs the question whether it's really worth hanging onto a (somewhat?) unhealthy relationship or be miserably alone.
I'm heading back to the states in a couple weeks because I couldn't find a job around here. Plus it's better for her if I'm gone because she has work, a leadership role, and her last year of school which she needs to hardcore focus on. We won't permanently be an LDR. An internet marriage would be riduclous.
Comments (3)
Woah, it seems like you've been through alot in just the past couple of months. Hope it all goes the way you want it to. :)
sooo what ended up happening?
@zoedark@xanga - Sorry for the late response. I updated this blog finally. Thanks for asking by the way.